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  • Writer's pictureJon Bolitho-Jones

Encyclopaedia Edimoria - Giants

The following extract is from the Encyclopaedia Edimoria volume 12, 2nd edition by Alberfungus Betswish Stunk. It is about giants and their place in the galaxy.

"Giants, or by their proper academic name Gigantian Titannicus, are huge. Tall and immensely heavy these creatures have been around since records first started. They have often been attributed to natural disasters such as earthquakes, squashed villages, and giant beanstalks. They are generally of a low intellectual capacity despite their humungous brains, and are extremely clumsy. Most of the destruction they cause is not out of any malice, rather it is down to this general clumsiness that has always been a part of their genetic make-up. Much like other races there are a large variety of types and sub types within this group. Some are so small they are barely much taller than a greater gnome, whilst legends mention the Megalodnus Monstronus, who are said to be so massive that they are able to move from one planet to the next with but one step. Of course such an action often ends up in the entire destruction of the planets involved. Thankfully sightings of these creatures are immensely rare and it is believed that those few that did exist are now long dead, lost, or according to the Dramatimancers, retconned from the great narrative of our existence.

One of the greatest challenges this race has faced is adapting to the modern galaxy. This entirely depends on the actual genus of said creature, for the general understanding is that the larger the individual the harder it is to take care of them. On the lower end of the spectrum there are lesser giants who range from 8ft – 15ft, who have adapted best to modernisation. There is always a need for larger Edimorian citizens who are able reach high spaces and act as bodyguards. This though has seen them come into conflict with other tall races like greater gnomes. Indeed the competition between these races for employment is fierce and it is has been known for an entire shopping complex to be demolished because a brawl started over a particularly high shelf that needed to be stacked. They are generally arranged onto separate shift patterns – a wise assistant supervisor is always very careful to never have them meet, even at work socials.

Of course taller examples of this race are immensely valuable in other lines of work. The tallest of giants make the perfect builders, and will happily create whole cities, seeing it more as a model building project then actual work. Giant model railway enthusiasts are always the best choices for such tasks, though it is quickly discovered that their model railways are actually thriving communities. It has been found that when such cities are being constructed it is best for the smaller races to stay away and leave them to get on with their work. A giant’s risk assessment does not cover the safety of other smaller workers. However even this line of work is now relatively unreliable as with the general use of magic, structures can easily be whisked into existence out of nothing. Giants have tried to protest against this but sadly this has frequently led to small wars where the magical advantage of the Alpharian Confederation sees them quickly defeated. Even when things remain peaceful they rarely make successful cases as they are hardly ever able to acquire enough signatures to support them. The amount and size of paper that is required for a petition like this costs a fortune - gold which giants lack in their line of work. These problems are compounded further by the fact that they are comparatively low in number, and there are few who share their issues, which means there are a lack of other citizens who understand and support their causes. There are of course giant interior decorators, dentists, and doctors, but these are rare and have a very small clientele.

There are other issues apart from employment that giants suffer from on a daily basis. With some admittedly rare exceptions Edimorian society caters to the mid height range of races, for example orcs, goblins, trolls, fauns etc, who generally measure between ft and ft. This is considered the “general height” category, and as such infrastructure, buildings, ships, and so on are built to cater to their requirements. It unfortunately means everything is too small to meet the needs of giants, whatever genus they might be. Giants often find coinage too small and frequently lose or swallow it by accident. They are hardly ever filled by a three course meal, find it difficult to fit into local conveniences, and have to book at least 3 seats on interstellar craft and locomotives. Those who are able to stoop low enough to fit into local establishments quickly develop serious back problems, and physiotherapists trained to treat them are limited in number and incredibly expensive. Cultural activities are also very restricted. It is widely known that Giant Iron Music has been made illegal, along with most of their contact sports. Only their quieter pastimes have survived – these range from silent book reading, to super chess, and playing sleeping giant lions (snoring permitted of course). It is understandable that the larger individuals of their race have headed to the corners of the galaxy to live alone in peace and quiet, far away from the bustle of civilisation.

Some measures however have been introduced to cater for these larger citizens. Giant sized housing blocks have been built, and some planets have been completely transformed for titanic sized holiday makers. A number of banks and local conveniences also have their own entrances, seating areas, and cash registers to cater to their large clientele. Super gigantic ultra-portions are occasionally provided, making it easier for a giant family to shop, and a number of furniture and fashion brands have their own giant ranges. At one point a form of giant currency was also considered, though this was voted down by shop keepers and Economancers as they simply wouldn’t have enough room to keep such large coins. Sadly these amenities are few and far between, and many giants and their families struggle needlessly because most parts of civilization are simply not big enough. The GRAP (Giant’s Rights and Awareness Party) continues to fight for greater recognition of these issues, though there is still much for them to do. It also doesn’t help that most giants have given up and simply moved to the fringes of the galaxy. As one can expect though the greater gnome shelf stackers are very happy with this emigration trend, but it has yet to be seen if the galaxy will ever be big enough to properly house its population of giants."

With that it's bye for now. I'll be back soon.


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