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  • Writer's pictureJon Bolitho-Jones

Encyclopaedia Edimoria - Crysalyxxia: The Glass Planet

The following extract is from the Encyclopaedia Edimoria volume 24, 72nd edition by Alberfungus Betswish Stunk. It is about the bizarre planet called Crysalyxxia.

"Crysalyxxia is a unique planet within the boundaries of the Alpharian Confederation that is made entirely out of glass. It is found at the very rim of the galaxy and it is currently owned by the wealthy Von Gustus Donbloom family. It is suspected that they own it simply because they can. Who they actually bought from is still a mystery.

This planet is in some ways much like the usual habitable grade 5 planets found in the galaxy. It has a series of 6 seasons, with 4 of them being the usual Alpharian standard ones. The other two are called Hippendorf and Elizatubt, after the two most famous/infamous members of the Von Gustus Donbloom family. The season of Hippendorf is immensely hot, and the glass around the equator burns red. This is the best time of year for glass sculptors to visit for they have vast quantities of hot malleable liquid glass to use in their work. Unsurprisingly this time of year is incredibly dangerous and many famous artists have lost their lives trying to create something as simple as a glass rose. Their work also has to be maintained till the very end of the season, otherwise it will simply melt back into liquid glass. The best time to work is the last quarter of this season, a fact that many come to realise after many futile and often fatal attempts.

Elizatubt on the other hand is immensely cold. The glass at the poles cracks and becomes little more than long sharp points. The wind blows tremendously and tiny shards are blown through the air, creating a rain that, if strong enough, can cut you to ribbons in an instant. Mountains crack and fracture, their edges becoming immensely jagged. Adventurers of the half mad/half stupid variety tend to visit during this season and try to explore the polar wastelands. Some are even fool hardy enough to climb the peaks. One false move however will see them slip and promptly impaled on the nearest glass protrusion. It is advised that anyone visiting during this season keep to the equator, especially around the double, triple, and quadruple glazing forests for these are warmest areas.

The atmosphere of Crysalyxxia is breathable though it is recommended that you wear some kind of filtration device over any breathing orifice. Every gulp of air has hundreds of tiny glass fragments in it. Though these are dust and reasonably safe in small dosages, in extreme cases prolonged exposure can see your internal organs shredded into mulch. More common side effects include painful defecation, and a weird prickling sensation all over your body. Though unpleasant these symptoms normally pass over time. The shredding of internal organs though is usually fatal.

The planet has 1 sun at the usual standard Alpharian cosmic distance. The weather is similar to what you would find on a habitable pre-industrialized planet with wind, rain, snow, and the occasional downpour of falling mongrels and felines, made out of glass. However there is very little in regards to life on the planet. It is impossible to grow any crops, and though there is rain, this is rare and often makes the surface of the planet immensely slippery.

The Von Gustus Donbloom's glass palace is the only building on the surface of the planet and is only accessable via express invitation, however there is also a small spaceport run by Alpharian authorities. I have it on good auhority that most individuals who work there are frightfully bored and desperate to leave. The only thing of interest on the planet is the glass itself. This forms into an almost endless rolling landscape, forming, without help, into mountains, forests, and rocks. Some even grows out of the ground into beautiful shapes, taking the form of wild vegetation and wildlife that is not native to the planet. There are in fact no creatures who call the planet home. How it knows what other life across the galaxy looks like is a complete mystery. Some even claim that the planet has its own magical sentience though those who argue thus have very little evidence to back up their claims or have disappeared.

Ultimately this bizarre planet seems to be heading for disaster. Astromancers have spotted a huge asteroid that is on a collision course. They continue to track it as it progresses on its trajectory. Some even joke that it has been thrown by some otherworldly being with the intention of shattering the planet like a window hit by a ball. There is little evidence to back up this theory and it is little more than conjecture at the moment.

The Von Gustus Donbloom family are desperately trying to save their planet, going so far as to try and forcibly move it to a new safer location. The logistics of doing this are impossible to work out, and though doable would require immense number of resources. Too much even for the Von Gustus Donbloom to buy. Another plan involves shrinking the planet down so that it can be placed within their family vault (which itself is the size of a small planet). They have yet to get full authorization as the Dr Draken Doobenmorph Accord (an evil genius who liked to shrink planets down and then play marbles with them) means that the magic to do so has been outlawed, severely hampering their case. Some sects of the Dramatimancers are even taking the family to court, saying that to intervene in the planet’s demise would distort the tragic story in unhealthy ways. As such, proceedings are significantly messy and it is often the case that the jury and magistrate do not know exactly what issue they are trying to deal with in each session. The Court of the Eldersmargs also refuse to get involved.

Even if some sort of plan was able to get through the courts it is unlikely that their efforts would be enough to do anything substantial before the planet is destroyed. The bureaucratic machine found within the Confederation is an unrelenting powerful force but also immensely slow, and so it could take them centuries to get through the relevant protocols before they are able to tackle this problem at the very fringes of the galaxy. This delicate planet is essentially doomed."

With that it's bye for now. I'll be back soon.


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